On occasion, I like to do what I call, “take a day off life.” I sleep, I watch trash TV, I don’t answer my phone, and I rarely get off the couch. It’s something I started doing in college, and I think it mostly stemmed from my depression after my Dad died. In highschool I was super social, very busy and never had time for a day off. When my depression hit after losing my father, my days off were very common and I often spent entire Christmas breaks lounging in pajamas on a couch.
I never stopped the trend. I really do enjoy days when I do nothing, talk to no one, and hold myself accountable for nothing. My days off life continued when I started working full-time and was first married, because I was tired and my husband was gone a lot. When I was pregnant and placed on 3 full months of bed rest, doing nothing was actually my job. When the baby came, my tiredness and ability to be lazy for a day again came in handy as I only took care of the baby. I didn’t clean. I didn’t cook. I didn’t shower. I didn’t try to be super mom or work out or go back to work. I have spent a lot of time taking days off of my life.
Today, I wanted one of those days. I wanted to do whatever I wanted, which mostly involved sleeping and watching movies. But instead I have a very demanding 2-year-old who insists on things such as attention and food and diaper changes. (I know, right? Isn’t he self-sufficient by now?) The hubs is on a month of night shifts, which means he works from 7 pm to 7 am and sleeps from 8 am to 5 pm, then showers, gets, ready, and leaves again. So this month it’s just me and this baby thing. So today, a midst diaper changes and reading stories and building forts with the couch cushions and fixing toddler food, I took my day off of life by having movies in the background, staying in pajamas, and not cleaning. It still counts, right?
Instead of mourning the loss of my days off life, maybe I should embrace fully engaging in every day of my life. Because really a whole day in pajamas building forts with movies in the background is a pretty good day.