It’s A Small World

In the course of daily life I tend to lack reflection on the big picture. My world is a constant exercise in toddler emmersion. I spend my days fixing snacks, going to activities age appropriate for a two-year old, wiping my son’s bottom, doing laundry, doing dishes, straightening the house, paying bills, and occasionally loosing myself in a book. That’s it. That’s my world. Those are my conversation pieces.

My world has become small.

This past week I visited with my family and was re-awakened to the fact that there’s so much more to the world than just the small fragment I am constantly exposed to.

There were conversations about finances, technology, master’s degrees, running, church, relationships, work. There were conversations about who we know and updates on friends doing different things like living abroad, getting married, or welcoming children of their own. There was a remembrance of life before a toddler.

I love my world of immersion. I enjoy our pace and our schedule and even my constant state of exhaustion because in the midst of it all I have a sweet little boy to love on every day.

But visits with friends and family remind me that there is so much more to this world. There are so many areas I have yet to explore. It is possible to go an entire day without talking about “the potty.” Who knew?

I am so proud to know the people in my family and the friends that carry my heart. I am so grateful for the way they choose to spend their time and that I am able to weave my story in with theirs, however so briefly, so that it becomes a part of my awareness. There was life before a toddler when my world seemed big and full of possibilities. There is life now, filled with daily tasks that sometimes make me feel that the walls of my life have closed in, and I am contained in a small existence. There will be life after a toddler when my world may once again open up to new possibilities and experiences.

So, for now, I will stay in my world of immersion and containment. And one day, when we are both ready, my son and I will each open our worlds to new possibilities and experiences. Until then, I’m enjoying this view from the sidelines.

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4 thoughts on “It’s A Small World

  1. You describe the being of stay-at-home-motherness perfectly. We’re in the little world, where it’s so big to the children, and yet, when we look out, whoa! But as they grow older, their world grows bigger, and soon we have to let them be part of it. So yes, treasure each moment now 🙂

    • You are so right. This time of “smallness” probably contains the most important moments of my life, even after I return to the “bigness.”

  2. Oh my, this is lovely and transparent and relatable.

    There’s this strange ebb and flow of big and small that motherhood brings. One day you might find yourself talking with these same people and realizing that there’s bigness that you think and worry about that they don’t.

    Ebb and flow – it’s good, yes?

    (Wonderful post, dear friend!)

    • Thank you so much. Yes, this ebb and flow is so very good, and such a lovely thing to be aware of. And you are so right, some of the bigness of motherhood are things that people who are not parents may have not even imagined yet.
      Such beauty in the different ways we live our lives.

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