I caught a glimpse of them today.
I watched as they fluttered outside my window, creating delicate flight patterns as they circled around each other.
I watched the fragile wings open and close and create a blur of color and beauty.
The butterflies moved in and out of my line of sight through the window as they encompassed each other and danced from the flowers to the sky.
“Mommy! My butterflies!” my toddler exclaimed as we watched them dance. I was delighted at his excitement.
And it was then I finally realized none of the rest of this matters.
Over the past two days I have been inundated with the grown up world. I have been dealing with the insurance company and bills and phone calls. And of course, I saw the Time cover.
In my already stressful world, the initiation of a mommy controversy is not something I want to be a part of. But it riled me none the less.
I have been in an unshakeable bad mood since yesterday. But then this afternoon, I turned off the computer. I put down my phone. And I watched the butterflies dance with my son.
It doesn’t matter how you fed your baby or how long you breastfed. It doesn’t matter if you did attachment parenting or not. It doesn’t matter where your baby slept or whether you used slings or strollers. This cover is clearly meant to illicit a response, not give an accurate depiction of breastfeeding or attachment parenting. It is also clearly meant to insult ALL mothers, posing the question, “Are you mom enough?” Mom enough for what, exactly?
There will always be decisions to make in parenting. There will always be opportunities for you to question your parenting choices.
But that takes away time from the things that really matter.
What really matters is that you love your child, in the best way that you know how, and in the way that works for you and your family.
And that you take the time to stop and treasure the moments with your children as they marvel at the wonders of the world.
I’d rather spend my time as a mother loving my son and delighting in his excitement over the beauty of butterflies dancing. After all, aren’t these the moments of motherhood that make it magical?
*These are my favorite blogger responses to the Time cover. Please take a moment to read their eloquently written words.
http://themomalog.com/2012/05/10/are-you-mom-enough/
http://practicalkatie.com/2012/05/11/every-mom-is-mom-enough/
http://www.sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms.com/2012/05/are-you-mom-enough-not-to-take-the-bait/
http://www.farewellstranger.com/2012/05/11/lets-talk-about-something-else/
Elated Exhaustion 
Thank you for this reminder of what is really important. Butterflies – they are the things that matter.
Thank you so much. It was lovely to just stop for a moment and watch them and my son.
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I love that you took the time to notice, and savor, what really matters.
Butterfly dances, indeed.
Thank you so much, Galit. It was a lovely moment in the midst of my funky mood.
As a breastfeeding mama the cover did make my angry – at Time! – because they just wanted to stir up trouble. We have SO MUCH to worry about as moms already. Why do we make it so much harder on everyone by judging? Great take…thank you for sharing. (New reader…just found you through a comment…hi!)
Hi! So glad you came by! I’m a breastfeeding mama too; and it definitely made me mad! It’s so ridiculous of them to try to stir up controversy like this.
Good for you! And what a lovely sight. 🙂
Thanks for the link!
Thank you so much! I found myself nodding along to your post. So glad you stopped by! 🙂
Motherhood beautifully captured, Julia.
Thank you so much, Heidi!
That’s what I have been doing lately…I took a 3 week vacation from blogging..because of surgery…but because I wanted to be with my family. To slow down…to enjoy life without strings.
PS. The butterflies are plentiful here in my neck of the woods. REally strange since we only get a few in our backyard. There’s like a swarm of them.
I am so glad you have been able to take a blogging break to recover and enjoy family time. I hope your recovery is going well. I miss you!
And enjoy your swarm of butterflies! That is really neat. We have two. But my son likes them anyway.
Oh, we love your post too. Thank you for sharing Ellen’s words and thank you for responding so eloquently with a piece of your own. Well-done. Erin
Thank you so much. It is a shame that Time chose to go this route with their cover.
YES! This is exactly it. Watching the butterflies and holding our kids close. Beautiful post.
Thank you so much. It’s a shame we get so caught up in judging other people’s parenting and that a national publication fuels the fire.
You are right, of course, and yet I still took the bait somewhat, by getting angry. I hope this cover is a catalyst for changing the conversation. Maybe people will see it as the cheap ploy it is and we will finally get over the superficial parenting judgment.
I completely understand your reaction. My initial reaction was anger too, but I was pleased to find posts from other bloggers that didn’t take the bait and that calmed me down. Today, however, I read a different post that angered me all over again. Sigh. I think you have summed it up perfectly, we need a “catalyst for changing the conversation.” Thank you so much.