Sick and Mad

Sickness has descended upon our house for the past week. I am an expert at following my own how to get sick advice. A full seven days of runny noses and coughs and tissues and humidifiers has really taken its toll. The toddler seems to be feeling better and just a lingering cough remains. The hubs had to call into work and I have not left the house in the past week except to drive the toddler to and from preschool. It has been a nearly impossible task to keep the toddler entertained and the house in a somewhat decent state while both adults are out of capacity on the couch.

The grumpy factor is at an all time high. Seven days can feel like a long time. With the whole family at the end of our ropes, this conversation happened this morning:

Me: (to the toddler) “Will you bring Mommy a tissue please?”

Toddler: “No, I will not. And Daddy will not either.”

Hubs: “That’s not very nice. Why won’t you bring Mommy a tissue?”

Toddler: “Because I am mad at Mommy. And Mommy is mad at me.”

Me: “I am not mad at you.”

Toddler: “Yes. Mommy is mad at me every day because I made a mess. And I am mad at Mommy.” (walks over to me and in a very mad voice says,) “Mommy, I am mad at you because I made a mess.”

Me: ….

Hubs: “Come on, let’s leave Mommy alone for a minute. We need to go clean up your mess.”

Toddler: “I need to pee!” (goes to bathroom) From the bathroom we hear singing, ” I will never clean the living room never ever. I will leave the living room a mess. I am ma-aaad. Yes sir.”

Me: “Can someone please bring me a tissue?”

Toddler: “I will Mommy.” (brings me a tissue) “It’s ok, Mommy. I am not mad at you. I love you.”

Me: “I love you too. I am not mad at you either. Thank you for my tissue.”

Hubs: “Ok, now we need to clean this mess in the livingroom!”

Toddler: “Uggggghhhhh!!!!!”

Sigh. I realize, that this week has been a week of ignoring the toddler because we just don’t have the ability to play with him. When we are up, we have been fussing at him to clean up all of these messes he’s making while we haven’t been able to supervise. We are exhausted and sick, and frustrated by having to clean up every five minutes from our toddler tornado, when all we really want to do is lay around and sleep in a clean-ish house. The toddler is frustrated by lack of stimulation and that every time he does come up with a creative game, (ie, throw all of his crayons all over the floor, unload all of the kitchen cabinets, cut up bits of paper all over the house, etc.), we want him to clean up the mess.

This cycle is exhausting. The hubs is ready to go to work, I am ready to have energy back to entertain my son and keep my house clean, and the toddler is just ready for some interaction. And probably for some activities outside of our house.

Here’s hoping that whatever this super cold is will leave soon. And that the toddler will stop being mad at me because he made a mess.

How To Get Sick

I have successfully succeeded in getting sick. Full blown fever, chills, runny nose, achy, coughing sick. On the very off-chance that you would like to share in my misery, I have put together a fool proof guide to help you reach your goal.

How To Get Sick: In 5 Easy Steps

Step 1 – Wait until your child is sick. My little guy has developed a consistent fever of 102 for the past few days. The doctor says there’s really nothing to do but wait it out, so in the meantime we are living with a feverish and sick toddler.

Step 2 – After obtaining a sick child, make sure to baby them with constant love and attention because they are sick. Allow them to climb all over you, give you slobbery kisses, and hang out in your lap all day. This step gives your sick child comfort while leading you directly on a path to get sick yourself.

Step 3 – Allow the sick child to sleep in your bed every night they are  sick. Sleeping in their bed while they are so sick is not ideal. The sick child will want comfort all day and all night. Make sure that you provide this to them by giving up all of your personal space.

Step 4 – While the child is sleeping in your bed, make sure they are sleeping as close to you as possible. My child prefers the sleep-on-top-of Mommy position. It is terribly uncomfortable and will make you incredibly hot to have a burning up child heater attached to you all night. Power through it.

Step 5 – Since the child is on top of you and in your face, make sure that when they cough they cough directly into your face. Do not disturb the sleeping child for fear of dealing with a sick, cranky, exhausted toddler. Let them pass their germs directly to you.

Congratulations!  After following this routine of sick child immersion for a couple of days, you should have successfully gotten sick. Take pride in the fact that you are a great Mommy and have cared for your sick child very well. Then, recognizing your own fever, runny nose, and aches, immediately dose up on DayQuil and institute a strict house-hold policy of pajamas, soup, and as much sleep as possible.

Good luck with your own quest for sickness. Better advice might be to do the opposite of everything I just said and possibly stay healthy, but where’s the fun in that?