Sleepless in Seattle

We don’t really live in Seattle, we live in Richmond, VA, but I love alliteration so I just went with it.

Location withholding, we really are having sleep trouble. And by “we” I mean the toddler and I. The hubs pretty much sleeps whenever he’s not at work.

Of all the parenting things; feeding, potty-training, motor skills, social skills, etc., sleeping has always been the biggest challenge.

It might be because I did attachment parenting, so my son has always co-slept with us. It might be because I breastfed until he was two years old, so he nursed throughout the night for so long that night waking is normal to him. It might be because he is a very sweaty sleeper. Or it might just be that sleeping is not his thing.

I once read somewhere that young children should get an average of 12 to 14 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period. And I have actually known people who say their child has done/does this. But whenever God was handing out babies, he gave me the non-sleeping version.

Which is fine, really. Because not sleeping is a parenting challenge I can handle. Or at least I used to, when my son still took naps.

The naps are gone, you guys. And it is draining me.

I took a daily nap with my son for the first two and a half years of his life. I needed it in order to be a good mother to him. And he needed them in order to function. It worked for us. I always cherished that mid-afternoon slumber. And then, just like that, he dropped them.

Nap time has been gone at my house since May. This entire summer has consisted of long days. Very, very, long days.

There are some days when we both just can not take it anymore and we relinquish ourselves to a nap. But the problem is, if he takes a nap, he is up until eleven or midnight. The other problem is, if he does not take a nap, he is absolutely miserable from 4pm to bedtime at 7pm. The dinner, bath, bed routine is started at 6, but those hours from 4 to 7 of a screaming, irrational toddler drain me every time.

Like other parenting obstacles I have faced I know that this will just be a phase. I know that nap time is over and that some day the hours of 4PM to 7PM will once again return to be just regular hours.

But while we wait this phase out, I would love to hear your toddler sleeping advice. Because the current trend? Makes me want to hire a bedtime sitter. (Is that a thing? That should be a thing.)

Thank you in advance for your help. I’ll just be over here drinking lots of caffeine until we figure this out.

Button Up My Buttons Babe

Due to a recent conversation with the toddler, I have a new theory. Hip hop song lyrics are derived from toddlers.

For a recent special treat, we decided to have milkshakes after dinner. Which is when I had my revelation.

First, the toddler pronounced, “My milkshake; this is yours.” Which I somehow pieced together as “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like it’s better than yours…

Then, after inevitably spilling some of the milkshake on his shirt, the toddler said,  “I’m gonna take off all my clothes.” Which led this song to arrive in my mind, “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.

After helping him put another shirt on,  the toddler said, “Now button up my buttons.” Which of course, made this song pop into my head, “Loosen up my buttons babe

Then, just to top off the night of inappropriate song lyrics inspired by a toddler, my son walked over to my husband sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, and said, “Daddy, open your legs.” Which may not be a song lyric, but seems to fit in the with the above list of inappropriate-ness.

So either hip hop artists really derived their song lyrics by hanging out with toddlers, or my head is still full of club songs from college. It’s a toss-up, really.